HE MOVES IN MY LIFE

LEARNING TO SEE

Tomorrow morning is the first day at a new job. I have been on the job search since December. This job is a Godsend. The way that it all came about is an act of God, there is no denying it. I put in an application last week, received a call on Monday night for a short interview, went to the company on Tuesday morning for a brief face to face; I sat in a boardroom with three other applicants, all of which have prior experience and I was given the job without any further interviews. It is hard not to see God in that.

So what is it I am learning to see? Or needing to learn to see? That God has His hand in my life, despite how I feel about His absence. Though I feel like He doesn't speak to me, He doesn't hear me, He doesn't see me or care or love me... He shows Himself to be faithful. He's got my back, He's looking out for me. I have that head knowledge, I know that He is there, except in my heart, I believe He isn't. Or is it the other way around? In my heart I know He is looking out for me, taking care of me, but in my head, I don't believe it?

The point is... He IS there for me. And I need to see that. Just because I feel disconnected does not mean that He has disconnected. Just because I don't hear Him, does not mean He is not speaking to me. So, I am learning... Learning to see and hear and feel when everything is stacking up against me. I am learning to be grateful even when it seems there is nothing for which to be grateful. I am learning that I am on His grid.

It is a process for sure. And sadly knowing He is there doesn't take away the sadness or anger or fear. Shouldn't it take away the sadness and anger and fear?

So here I go...

I'M LEARNING