SARCASM AND PLEASANTNESS

I'M SORRY, I'M NOT SORRY...

I grew up in a home where sarcasm was a necessity to life.

To keep up or be able to have any say in a conversation you needed only to be louder than the other people around and quick witted to boot. While that quick wit CAN be advantageous, more often than not people take it offensively and think you are a horrible human being.

I am the fourth of five children. I have two older brothers, one older sister, and one younger sister. My father is quite possibly the most sarcastic person I know.

This, we inherited from him. My mom is all sweetness and Jesus. I like to think I am balanced.
Jesus and sweet, sweet sarcasm. :D My second brother and my younger sister and I received from my father the sarcasm gene... in spades.

I have had to learn, often the hard way that my sarcasm is not often appreciated in the world apart from my immediate family. And let's face it, some of my immediate family don't appreciate it either. Through years of sarcasm "training" I can say something completely snarky with an absolute straight face and serious tone and people actually BELIEVE me! Perhaps it is because I have the face of an angel that could never lie. Perhaps a lot of people are stupid. Either way... some people think I am awful because of my sarcastic genes.

When it comes to sarcasm I do not have a filter that often works. I am sorry. But I'm not sorry. I hate that you are offended. I really hate it for you... I wish there was some way to make your brain understand or keep up. I will have to look into inventing some kind of cure for the sarcasm deficient. 

Anyway, the entire point in this post was simply that I am sorry if you don't like me because my wit and sarcasm baffle, anger, or bemuse you. (And yes, I am aware that baffle and bemuse have the same meaning, they just sound so good together; and lets face it, some people are doubly confused). It has never been my intention to hurt anyone with my sarcasm. I am aware that it sometimes happens. For that, I AM sorry. I am not a horrible person. I am not trying to hurt you. I just am the way I was raised to be... For that, I cannot and shall not make apologies. If I stopped, I would likely be killed... "or worse, expelled"! (If you understand that, YOU WIN AT LIFE)!!!

EVER YOURS,      -CAIT