ASKING THE BIG GUY SOME BIG QUESTIONS

ASK QUESTIONS

"I have big questions. And those questions are turning into doubts about this world and mortality and God and eternity."

Above is something I had written down in a note in my phone some time back.

I find that we are rarely encouraged to ask questions and explore our beliefs as Christians. In most cases we are expected to take what we are told by our Pastors and leaders as a solid truth without question. I don't know about you, but I am human... I make mistakes. I say thing's I ought not to say, I think thing's I ought not to think, and I do thing's I ought not to do sometimes. Our leaders and Pastors are also human; even though it sometimes seems they are some kind of supernatural being with ultra righteous powers. The fact still remains, we are human... 

Fallible.                                                     Fleshly.                                                      Finite.

In the recent weeks I have been making a constant, conscience effort to simply talk to the Lord. It is something that I have not done in some time because of anger and bitterness deep rooted in my own heart. I can see though that the Lord really is changing me to the very core of my existence. I am asking questions. I am reading the Word, researching and looking for answers to my eternal questions. I am not sure one can say they truly believe something without first having looked into it and asking all the hard questions. I am not sure why it is we are often told to just accept something because a "Godly" person says it is truth. That is the hard thing about scripture. It is so easy to twist and manipulate and interpret into something that you want it to say. That is, if you are not seeking the Lord in the scripture but rather searching for your own point. I believe that somewhere along the way we took God out of scripture. And in His place we put in the thing's that we WANT the scripture to say dependent on the circumstance we are trying to fit.

Today I spent some time talking with someone that did encourage me to ask questions. He spoke about thing's that have been on my mind and in my heart for some time. Thing's like, what is the point in this scripture? What are You trying to say? Thing's like what is love really? What is grace? How do I model my life after someone I have never seen? How do I know that all this is true and not something more fallible men decided to write one day? Creation... I'm not sure that makes much more sense to me than the Big Bang. How are You a good God with all the horrible thing's happening in the world? Aren't you supposed to know everything before it happens? FIX IT! Why should I trust You? What have you ever done to make me have faith in You? 

All of these thing's I have thought at one time or another. 

And many Christians would wave their finger in my face and tell me

how wrong I am to be asking such questions.

"Just have faith. Just take my word for it. Believe my truth or go to hell."

Whether or not you will admit that you have likely had similar thoughts is completely  inconsequential. We all have questions. We all have doubts. Why not ask the Big Man Himself? He is after all, Big. I think He can handle it. He can deal with me struggling sometimes.

As I continue to seek Him and who He is and what His will is for me and how all this can make any sense at all; I am learning! I am learning about grace and humility and love and purpose. If I walk through this life and never once ask questions, then I won't learn. As I seek to know and understand (to the best of my ability) the Word of Life and all the bits of wisdom and truth it holds, I begin to see God; really see Him and his divinity. His glory. His righteousness. His hope and purpose for me. I don't always get the answer that I want, or an answer comes much later or sooner than expected, but I am seeing that He answers me. And THAT is goodness. And THAT is faithfulness. And THAT is love.

ASK YOUR QUESTIONS. I DON'T DOUBT HE'LL ANSWER...