NEW FACES AND NEW PLACES

ONE WEEK AGO

I left everything I know for a new place.

One week ago I took with me the majority of my clothes and nothing more.

To start over again.

 Fresh.                              Clean. 

A new beginning to an overdue end.

It was terrifying!

It IS terrifying!

I like to think I could be a nomad... a vagabond of this world.

The idea is very romantic and appealing.

But I am learning about myself that I have more roots than I first thought.

I like going new places. I definitely have that sense of adventure within me.

But I like to know I will soon go home.

The world is not my home. Each new place never settles for me as home.

Home is where my mom is. Home is where my family lives.

And not knowing if or when I will return petrifies me.

Somewhere along the way my wings were clipped and my roots dug in.

This is definitely an adventure. And a learning experience.

I realized that I am afraid of getting a job here.

Because once I get a job, that means I am REALLY here.

A job will definitely make things more permanent.

And I am afraid of that.

Perhaps it is childish considering I am only a state away from my family.

But being away has made me see just how much I want to be near them.

I feel as if I am missing out on important moments in their lives.

I don't like missing out.

So, I need something to keep my over active brain from dwelling on "home".

Because that doesn't help at all.

Dwelling...

The possibilities are practically limitless. 

Starting over is exciting and I hope to start over well.

I just need to deal with this ever constant fear of making new roots.

I like my old ones... but I just may have to make new.

I have to...

DO IT AFRAID.