Saturday, September 1, 2012

LIVING LIFE OUT OF CONTROL

Everyone want's control. Whether it be over something small like the remote control, or something larger like the car when you are a passenger. For some it may be hard to admit, for other's, like myself, it is much easier. I WANT CONTROL! Period.

Here's the trouble. I don't have control. I'm not in control. Never have been. Never will be. And that really sucks!

I feel like a passenger on a runaway bullet train. Those thing's are already so fast; now it is on the loose and headed down the track at dangerous, deadly speeds and pretty soon it WILL derail. It is only a matter of time. And the worst part... I can't drive it, I can't control it. And that means that when it derails, I am going down with it. It is out of my control.

I don't like not knowing where I am headed or even where I came from. I don't like not knowing where I went wrong or where I actually went right. I don't like not knowing... I don't like being out of control.

So, here I am completely out of control, completely and utterly out of my comfort zone; now what? Where do I go from here? I think that maybe if I knew what I wanted and the kind of person that I am and where I want to be and blah freaking blah... THEN maybe I would have the slightest clue as to what could possibly be next.


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